Disillusioned And It Feels So Good!

What an interesting title to my offering. The last few days have led me through a journey of discovery and clarity that has helped me emerge from a dark place to one of clarity. I admit I love to play golf, even when it is rainy and muddy. I played in between rain showers yesterday, four inches of them, and due to the fact there were only two of us on the course , I had lots of time to think. I have finally emerged from feelings of despair to feelings of victory.

Last week I received some disappointing information, and an indication that someone who could do something about a situation continued to choose not to do anything. There is nothing more frustrating than to have a plan, work toward that plan, and then have it thwarted due to a lack of something, money or effort. Thus, placing me in a position of disillusionment and wondering what my next steps should be.

The dark place I went into was the dungeon of doubting. Life is horrible, nobody cares, and everything around me is nutty. I began to think that life was like the dystopian novel 1984 by George Orwell. The world has become Oceania, and everything around me is in perpetual war, filled with in groups who think they are the only ones with answers, creating a world filled with doublethink, thoughtcrime, Newspeak, and organizations having various types of Room 101’s.

The definition of doublethink, “is the act of ordinary people simultaneously accepting two contradictory beliefs as correct, often in distinct social contexts.” Orwell uses this term to demonstrate how people are conditioned to “fit in.” You must be seen as a loyal member of the party or you will end up in Room 101. A great example of this is the Clark County GOP’s attempt to censure Jamie Herrera Butler. The party did not like the way she was working for the good of the community so they attempted to place her in a room of torture being confronted with her greatest fears.

Then there is the issue of thoughtcrime. According to Orwell, “this is an occurrence or instance of controversial and socially unacceptable thoughts.” We see this all around us as the social elite attempt to create a thought standard that anyone who does not adhere to this liberal agenda is ostracized and deemed a hater. If you are someone who is against abortion, then you are anti-woman, if you think that marriage is between a man and woman, then you are a hater of LGBT, and if you believe Jesus Christ is the way the truth and the life, and no one goes to the Father except by Him, then you are a hater who thinks everyone is a sinner.

Heaven forbid that we have anyone that thinks differently than the norm. For any of you who do not think that Newspeak does not exist, look around you. The definition of Newspeak “is the fictional language created by a totalitarian state as a tool to limit freedom of thought, and concepts that pose a threat to the regime such as freedom, self-expression, individuality, and peace.” Thus, liberals demonize the ideas proposed by conservatives, and conservatives demonize the liberals for the concepts. There is no clearer expression than our current congressional iteration.

Although Orwell presented a literary example of Room 101, “a torture chamber in the Ministry of Love where subjects are confronted with their own worst nightmare,” our society is a bit more sophisticated. We create figurative Room 101s. Right now Howard Schultz and Starbucks are being subjected to their worst fears. “Race together” was meant to be a simple discussion about the issues around us concerning race, and we complain. Previously Chik-Fil-Let was sent to Room 101 because the founder gave his personal money to support traditional marriage. Thus a symbolic Room 101.

You see where this thought process took me. Last week I had lost my oracle joy persona, and let others control my outlook on life. It is wonderful when you have an opportunity to sit back, rest, and reflect. It is wonderful to pray, and seek God’s direction, and get yourself on the right path once again.

There are certain things I know. God is on the throne. I know that, and I believe that. Therefore, just because things don’t go the way I think they should go doesn’t mean we are doomed. Also, I tend to take too much ownership of things. This means that I think they can only be successful if I am in control. This is an untruth that I need to let go of. Therefore, I can relax and keep moving forward and trust the results to my God. This is what I intend to do.

In the book Pilgrim’s Progress, John Bunyan describes Christian’s journey from the “City of Destruction” to the “Celestial City.” During this journey Christian met, and journeyed with Hopeful. At a particular place in their journey they had come to a rocky and steep place where the journey became difficult. They took an easier path, “Bypath Meadow,” and were captured by the Giant Despair. The Giant threw them in the dungeon of doubting castle, and beat them day after day. Christian and Hopeful were delivered from the castle through prayer and remembering the promises.

No matter how bad it looks God has many promises, and the one thing I know, is that God has my best in mind. That does not mean there will not be times of rocky steep places, or places of despair, but it means those times are the times where I need to trust. And that is what I intend to do!

And that is my thought for the day!

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