My Crazy Family, 2019!

My family loves each other, but sometimes they are a little weird. This really comes out during the holidays when we get together. We had our first holiday dinner get together this year, and it reflected interesting additions to our family. Some of the old family members are still here, but due to marriages and divorces we have new family that seems to have made our enlarged family even weirder.

Let me start with describing some of the members that are still around. Uncle George and Aunt Laura still come to our dinners. They are the nicest people, he likes to talk about his art, and Laura likes to talk about her grandkids. George and crazy Uncle Bill love to get together and talk about things. They truly like each other.
Speaking of crazy Uncle Bill, everybody in the family still likes him, but the younger family members tend stay away from him. They don’t think he has anything relevant to add to the conversation. The saddest family member is Bill’s wife, Aunt Hillary. Everyone feels sorry for her. She still comes to the family dinners, but all she does is sit on the couch, reminisces about her competition with Uncle Trump, and tells anyone who listens I won, I won. After a few beers, she’ll yell out for all to hear, the electoral college needs to go. I really feel sorry for her, and once in a while I’ll look at the couch where she is sitting and see her with her hands on her tortured face. This makes me think of Edward Munch’s “The Scream.”

Speaking of Uncle Trump, the left side of the room really dislikes him. In fact, they say he has divided the family. However, the right side of the room loves him. Most of us, think he is just being himself. He has made the family more prosperous, but Hillary and the left side of the room just can’t get past the competition between Hillary and Uncle Trump. It has been three years and the family is getting tired of the conflict. Uncle Trump’s son though is interesting. He has written a book and discussed it on the television show the View. It appears Jr. has the same skills as his father. He can really tick people off. However, even the left side of the room saw the hypocrisy of cousin Joy and cousin Whoopi. They seem to be very judgmental people who think the cancel culture only applies to the right side of the room.
There a couple of more family members I need to talk about, Uncle Mitch and Aunt Nancy. They are trying to keep the family together, but it really is becoming difficult. Aunt Nancy as tried to control cousin Schiffty, but she is not doing very well. It seems cousin Schiffty is trying to destroy the family, but the left side of the room does not see what he is doing is only driving the right side of the room further away. Uncle Mitch is just trying to hold things together. I hope he can.
The loudest part of the room is the children’s table.

The nieces and nephews all want to join the adult table, but the adults are concerned. We also have some adopted children that have joined the family. The loudest are two of the nieces. Alexandria, she likes to go by AOC, is just plain crazy. She was a bartender, but really wants to take everything from the wealthiest people in our family and give it to all of us. It sounds good, but the need of the family is so great, and our family leaders are not respected enough for the family to trust them. The angriest of the four adopted children is Rashida. She hates Uncle Trump. She has cried out, kick the mother_____ out of the family. She is one of the four we have nick-named the squad. All four are new to the family by marriage. AOC and Rashida are the loudest of the four children. Niece Ayanna, comparatively, is quiet, so we don’t know much about her yet. The last child to sit at the children’s table is Ilhan. The family really does not trust her, and really thinks she wants to make our family something completely against our culture. There is some questions on her marriage status.

There are two more cousins that I need to mention. Cousin Cory had a lot of promise, but after he has a couple of beers, he takes his shirt off and screams I am Spartacus. We have no idea what that is all about, but most of the family lost respect for him due to how he treated cousin Kavanaugh. Then there is crazy cousin Kamala. She is from California and loves to dance. She really has nothing to add to the family discussion, but she thinks she does. Many of our family lost respect for her, just like Cory, due to how she treated cousin Kavanaugh. Oh, I almost forgot. Uncle Joe just came back. He was on vacation. When he arrived at the dinner party, he gave cousin Sheila a hug while leaning over to smell her hair. It was a bit weird, but hey, he is Uncle Joe, the one we all love. He does seem to lose track of what he is saying, but remember he is 76. He and Uncle Trump could compete against each other for leading the family. Oh, I almost forgot cousin Hunter. It seems Uncle Joe had gotten him a job in Ukraine, but it didn’t work out.

No discussion about our family would be complete without talking about old crazy Uncle Bernie and angry Aunt Elizabeth. They are just as nutty as they always have been. Uncle Bernie had a heart attack, but he still wants to lead the family. He, like his niece AOC want to give away all the family wealth. The left side of the room, and others at the children’s table, love Uncle Bernie. The people on the right side of the room know he is not good for our family.

However, the one we are all scared of is angry Aunt Elizabeth. She will destroy this family, but several of the family members don’t see it. They were the one’s sitting at the children’s table and were not alive when our family fought against another family that wanted to take our wealth away. I hope Aunt Elizabeth gets psychological help.
So, there you have it. The latest update to our family dinners. Warts and all, we are family. I hope we never forget that.

I hope our family dinners will lead to more mingling and less sitting on opposite sides of the room. Hopefully, the adults will be able to repair the breach.

And that is my thought for the day!

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